I really should be sleeping…no really, I’m tired and I got school tomorrow, but I felt the need to blog right about now. About what? One thing that has come to my attention in the past week:
I feel like I’m wasting my time with this Chris character. The Monday after Sadies was a bit (and by a bit I mean really) awkward because apparently he thought that I liked him? Which I did, but then after Sadies and its bust, I had become iffy on him. So that Monday night after practice, I textd him (he texts all the time, never talks) telling him that I wanted to be just friends and that’s it. I said that because I felt like our friendship that we built up over the past month was surprisingly really good, and that was something I didn’t want to lose. So we texted it out and worked it out, and so now we’re friends again. What really got me was what happened on Friday. On Friday, he found this new girl (Courtney?) who he thought was pretty hot…she’s a freshman slut who wears too much makeup (not my words…I’ve never seen her before). But I don’t understand the reason why boys go for slutty girls. To be honest, what does a slutty girl possess that captivates these guys? The fact that I’m jealous of a freshman just goes to show that I really don’t want to be just friends with him. It’s so hard to tell whether he likes me or not when I’m with him. I don’t feel like he reciprocates the intensity of the feelings I have, but is something kind of there? Or will we just remain friends until I graduate and never see him again? I wish, for one moment in time, I could be inside someone else’s mind, to know what their thinking…like Edward Cullen! Oh he would be the perfect guy (but that’s beside the point).
The point is, I am leaving tomorrow for 5 days away from Pleasanton and its routine boringness and into the exciting life of college! I’m visiting Southern Methodist University for a scholarship interview, and going up to see Columbia/Princeton as well as my NY friends who will be a breath of fresh air to my 6 month stay in this podunk town. I think this will give me time to reflect on how much he means, or doesn’t mean, to me, and vice versa. Though I’ll be missing a swim meet (which are always boatloads of fun), I think college visits are my only form of escapism as of right now.
Stay posted on college decisions which come out 3/31-4/1!
Also….will the stock market work in my favor for once in my life? Thanks.
