I think I’ve subconsciously struggled with this question for a long time and have finally come up with an answer…for now.
Definition (by urbandictionary.com):
A magical place where it is rumored that learning takes place, although to those who enter it is often described differently afterward, as a beatiful land in which beer flows in amber currents next to a golden pasture, where virgins lie naked with gentle smiles upon their calm, inviting faces; but more precisely, a Shangri-La rite of passage into adulthood which involves rampant consumption of alcoholic beverages, flagrant and promiscuous sexual behavior, and a general and fundamental disregard for any form of responsibility by its habitants.
Yes. College is a place where beer flows like water, mistakes are made, lessons are learned, and individuals change from who they think they are to who they actually are. I know I have witnessed and experienced all of these things. And I’m only halfway done. While it is true that I will most likely change in many ways from where I sit now, to where I sit 2 years from now, I have to believe that it will be for the best. And I think my morphism into my future self starts with an answer to this simple question: What is college about?
College is about finding out what you like and what you don’t like. It’s as simple as that. And I’m not talking about simply “oh I like this…kinda”. I’m talking about ”This is what I would spend my entire life doing and never be bored/satisfied”. Although I haven’t found this item of passion, I know that if I continue searching for it , someday it will come across my path.
For a long time, I thought, for every summer, I would not have minded doing research in a laboratory setting. I thought it was cool to be on the frontier of science, making ground-breaking discoveries. And in theory, it still is cool. Unfortunately, I came to the realization that science took many many years to pay off, if ever. Every summer my passion for research shrank and shrank until I no longer had any desire to do it anymore. And that’s when it hit me: this is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. That’s why after this year, I’m going to quit my research lab. I don’t want to do it during the summer anymore, and I don’t want to do it during the year. It would be an easy position and may look good on my medical school applications, but I would be doing it for all the wrong reasons. I would continue torturing myself because it was easy and I was good at it. And it’s true. Research is easy and over the years, I became really good at it. But I’m tired of doing things because they’re easy. I want to do it because I like it.
I also want to go abroad. The only time I get a chance to study abroad is during college. I want to experience other parts of the world mainly because I don’t know anything about them. When I was little, I used to fear the unknown. Now I embrace it. I’m not afraid to venture into something I know zero things about. Going abroad might help me figure out my life, give me some direction, or it will be ridiculously fun. Or all three.
So here’s the plan:
Study abroad this summer, this fall, next summer.
Take MCAT/apply for med school next spring.
Get into med school senior year.
Discover myself.
Let’s hope it works out.
